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28 January 2010


I realize lately all I have done is vent, bitch, whine, moan, complain, harp, and kvetch on this site but hey.. I got a lot to say about a lot of bullcuss. Speaking of bullcuss, did I mention how HILARIOUS the movie "The Fantastic Mr. Fox" is. Thank goodness I decided to just shut my pie hole (other pie hole dirty mind) for once and go watch it with some friends. Now this was weeks ago but still the movie had me busting out the whole time. Something about the witty, dry humor really infused me with happiness and frivolity (um.. not really. I just wanted to use the word frivolity somewhere in this post and I couldn't think of anywhere it really fit in). I mean how often do movies have possums that play semi-dead every time the fox talking to them says something about food? Really? I mean really? I mean a fox who knows karate and a badger who is good at dynamite. You can't beat that with a wooden spoon or a dead chicken.

Okay , okay back on my bitchfest topic of the day. As you may or may not know I bought a house back at the beginning of November and I moved out of my shitty Virginia Highlands slumlord-owned apartment .. back in the beginning of November. Well the bitch of the day comes from the fact that I still have not received my $550 security deposit from the tools that own the place. I tried to be nice about it. I called the fat ass, slovenly, world of warcraft loving, 20+ year old virgin apartment manager up numerous times asking politely in my sweet south georgia drawl (yeah right.. if anything I sound like I am straight from the streets of Compton) if I could pretty please, with sugar on top get my money. Dude changed his story every week or so.

"Oh, I talked to the owner, he's looking over stuff"

"Oh ,I spoke with him, he's writing a check"

"Oh, he forgot to write the check, he should be writing and sending it off"

"Oh, we need your new address"

"Oh, he said it's mailed"

"Oh, he forgot to mail it. He will mail it tomorrow"

"Oh he said it's in the mail"

"Oh, he just now put it in the mail"

and on ... and on ... and on

Until finally I womaned up. I found out that landlords in the state of GA have 30 days from the move out date to return your deposit or tell you why you aren't getting your deposit back. Thanks go out to my lovely friend Christina (who in reality spells her name the stripper way; can you guess how it's spelled from that description?? Come on, I dare you!) for that tidbit of information. Now that we are on to 82 days from move out I decided to send that sum'a'bitch owner a certified letter that basically says if you don't get off your ass and give me my money I will sue you. Or something like that, only in much more polite sweet southerly tones. So anyways my vent/bitch/kvetch of the day goes to this fucker who is trying to play with this Jew's money. Don't we all know that you don't fuck with a Jewish American princess? An analogy would be standing between a Homer and beer.

Picture of the day is:

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