I swallow sadness...

...like a BOSS!!

Hate Mail

Yelp, I have finally arrived. I just received my first hate mail letter and feel like I am now really part of the community. I received the following message from a lovely individual supposedly known as Rob S who felt so strongly about one of my reviews that he joined Yelp just to let me know his view.

Your trash
I love how you say, "I don't eat pork for religious reasons, but you swear like a sailor." You should spend more time on education and less on your pointless reviews. I do have to say it was fun reading your ignorant rants about food, but just for a pitiful laugh. You should stop leaving the Jewish American Princess tag in your posts, you give many of my friends a bad name.

Here is my retort and the link to the review that I am assuming brought this on.

Thanks for the delightful email. I am so glad that you enjoyed my reviews so much that you felt the need to join Yelp. I hope you continue reading my reviews because I would hate to disappoint you. Oh and make sure that you keep an eye out...I will be dedicating one review to you in the coming weeks. :)

PS. Perhaps if you had read my review in its entirety you would have noticed that I don't eat pork, not for religious reasons, but for personal ones.

My Review

Anyhoo.. on to other matters. The last couple of weekends were filled with debauchery and fun times. The last couple of week days were not.

This past weekend:
-Pet sat
-Went out on the town
-Enjoyed a beautiful day at the park
-Walked the dog
-Bought a ceiling fan and plants at Lowe's
-Did nothing with the ceiling fan and plants
-Slept
-Ate
-Thought about how this new budget will be the end of me

Weekend before last:
-Pet sat
-Went out on the town
-Enjoyed a beautiful day at the park
-Walked the dog
-Attended Ben's 3rd Birthday party
-Slept
-Ate
-Spent loads of money on crap


Oh did I mention I am now budgeting. Cash only for me. And by the way, this is the first budget of my whole live. I will fill you in on all the deets later (I think the word details should never be said again, and instead replaced with deets which makes a person sound so much cooler...I think)

The weekends fast approaching

Yep, yep.. my weekend officially starts in 4.5 minutes. What about you?? Plans for the weekend include: food, alcohol, debauchery, shopping, and Oscar. I am hoping not so much alcohol that I can't throw an exercising in there some where or another. I am hoping to also get some good shots oat 'n aboat so look forward to the potential of seeing through the eye of Stephie Z. I am also leaving you with a couple of shots that evoke spring and warmth to me. I hope they do for you as well. Have a great weekend!!!

Awesome Music Video

Insantity I tell you. Whomever set the following video up rocked my socks off.

The dog abides

And a very Happy Birthday goes out to both David and Hobie.. one of whom turns five and one of whom turns thirty!! I will let you guess which one turned which age.




***My apologies for some of the photos- most were taken with my cheap digital back in the mid 00's.

Neglectful again

You people got to stay on my ass if you expect me to ever update this thing. If I don't hear you begging for more than I don't really get the itch, yearn, whatever to actually take the time to update this blog. I have been thinking about it for the past couple of weeks but have been to busy with other stuff to actually do something about that. So what has happened since our last meeting?? We are now in a whole new month. Speaking of: Happy Birthday Mom!!! She doesn't read this, so this is more of a telepathic thing, but it's the thought that counts. I could only imagine what my conservative proper JEWISH southern mother would think if she read this. It wouldn't be good, that's all I know.

Last time I wrote I mentioned something about a wine night right?? Well, wine night at my house went over without a hitch and with little to no Cabernet being spilled on my vintage rug. This is all due to my fabulous pouring ability, which isn't really that fabulous if you had seen the rag I carried around with each bottle in order to stop any drippage from leaking onto my precious rug. The most exciting thing to take place at wine club night was my vet friend expressing my foster dogs' anal glands in the kitchen. Not many people get to attend parties with such awesome party tricks. It all started when bullet, the foster dog, expressed his own anal glands in the living room, where all us winos were gathered. Luckily most of the women in attendance were dog owners. Unfortunately, a few of the women do not have the pleasure of owning dogs. Let's just say those were the women who made disgusted looks while my vet buddy talked me through the anal gland expression in the kitchen.. which just happens to be directly connected to the living room. Ahh good times!

Another thing that happened to me is that I got super sick last Thursday and am still festering with disease today. Not really, disease more like a single virus. You know I am a drama queen. The worst thing about my sickness is that I had a hair appointment for Friday night. It worked out perfectly. I could get my hair cut, have it looking unbelievably straight and shiny, and then hit the town with my single ladies. Unfortunately, only Bella and my friends 2 dogs got to view the sweet new 'do. I thought it was looking hot until today when I styled my hair with some new product I bought. I look like a 70's chia pet right now. I may post a picture soon but don't count on it. I don't care if the people I work with see me looking like shit, but I do care if random Internet cruisers see how poufy my hair is.

Lastly, I finally finished editing pictures of my friends wedding. I will be posting some of my faves up here as soon as I get my hard drive back from said newlyweds. I hope they liked them otherwise my hard drive might be sitting in the landfill as we speak. Okay people, have a good day and expect another post this week. If I don't write one then bug the shit out of me until I do. Please!!!

Money, money, money MONEY!

Asshole ex-landlord finally paid me my money after throwing some bullshit my way on why it took so long. Oh yeah! Wait until I pepper my former residence with propaganda spouting off against you and your untrustworthy ways. So there! LOL. That was weak and I am just kidding; despite my anger I probably won't get even b/c I am not like that.. too nice, I am. So today is Thursday night and my 1st large event at my house. I am sort of excited in a train-rushing-toward-me, shit-my-pants way. Not scared of people coming so much, more because I am afraid people won't have fun. I always want people to have fun and eat well and I am worried that for some reason that won't happen. I already made one Cabernet-paired food, a dip with feta, cream cheese, mint, and cukes, and that crap was salty as hell. What if all the other shit I make tastes like crap, what if I don't have enough chairs, what if Bullet( my foster dog that I have discussed previously) somehow escapes my bedroom and jumps all over my guests, knocking one down on his path of destruction??? Oh wait, this party is a wine club event where every one brings a bottle and we blind taste test it. Oh and 17 people are expected to show. 17 bottles of wine... mmmhhh.... yeah, I probably have nothing much to worry about. Oh and in my head about just sounded like ah-boat, pronounced the Canadian way. What the fuck is that ahhh-boat??? Have a pleasant Thursday!!

Rainbow Bill

Rainbow Bill

I bet this dude is a baller

Valentines

So Valentines Day is coming up. Did you know that?? What with the stores being decorated since Jan 2nd, 2010 and all the stupid Kay Jeweler and Hallmark ads that have been flashing on TV every 10 minutes- I'm sure you didn't notice. This is the time when a gal like me (single and staring 30 down like a mouse cornered by a puma) should be crying in her soy latte. That is if I drank soy latte, which I don't..because I'm too cheap...because I am Jewish. Unfortunately I am not one who believes in pity parties. I like to have a huge bitch fest, air all my grievances, and move on. This Valentine's Day, despite the lack of date, I will be going out and enjoying myself. I am actually thinking that I will probably enjoy myself more than the millions of women out there who assume that their man is planning something unbelievable for them only to cry themselves to sleep once that they discover he put no thought into the gift giving/valentines day enjoying process. At the very least, being single means you are never let down and damn that's nice. The only not nice thing is the lack of action I will be getting on V-day. That is of course if I can't find some suitable Joe at the bar. Oh did I tell you I am heading to the bar on V-day?? Yep, sure am. I think it is probably one of the top nights to celebrate being single by going out and meeting all the other singles at the bar. You never have to worry about a guy having a girlfriend or wife. And since they didn't spend any money on some chicks useless flowers, jewelry, or dinner they are more willing to pay for drinks, which for a cheap girl like me kicks ass!

Oh, I have to share with you this other fabulous tidbit from my life. I went all out and bought a droid phone. Shocking right?? No cable or Internet at home but I shell out major money for a smart phone. That's right.. I am now part of the 21st century and i got to tell you that it is kind of annoying. I can't tear myself away from sudoku, mahjong, and jewel lust on the phone. I literally can not put it down. These stupid games have a hold over me. See the beautiful picture below. I didn't take it but I now own that shiny bitch.

Very very funny

Only stunt meese were used in the making of the following video. Get ready to be in for the shock of your life. No, not really but it will make you chuckle, unless you are a heartless, soulless heathen.